Lose, Live, Find love
by EmCullenIsMyTeddyBear
Summary: Jasper, now a vampire, is living with the Cullens. Alice is not his mate, as he is still in love with his would have been wife from his past. Marie. Now she is back, not immortal but reincarnated. Can Jasper finally get his happy ending?
1. Lost Love

Prologue:

I knew _she_ was there, but _she_ couldn't be, not after all this time. Maybe _she_ is an immortal like me. I sniffed the air. No _she_ can't be. I smell the blood coursing through her veins. But she looks so much like _her_, she has the same hair, same soft skin with that awing blush to go with it. No, shake yourself out of it damn it, that was a long time ago, and its never happening again. Let the past be the past. _She's_ never coming back, and I revel in the pain that brings me, because at least it, unlike so much, is real.


	2. The Beginning

**AN: A huge thank you to all of the people that continue to read my horribly updated stories. I love you all! As usual I would love to hear your thoughts- the good and the bad, just try not to be but so mean. Thanks(: **

Chapter 1:

_JPOV_

_Flashback-_

I heard the fighting all around me. The gunshots, the screaming, I could almost feel these peoples pain. I hated war, especially one where you had to fight your own kin. I promised my darling Marie that I would return to her.

However, like so much in this world I am beginning to doubt that. It would only be a matter of time before this war killed me as well. I hope she can go on with out me, live her life and not be hung on a summer romance.

Who am I trying to delude? I tried convincing her that's all it was. Hah! Like she would hear it. My little spit fire followed me to my house on horse-back, refusing to believe that I felt any less than what she did with me.

My Marie told me, before I left that we would be married as soon as I got back. I hope that I am able to return, I would love to know that I captured the girl of my dreams. Even during these harsh times just thinking of her brings a smile to my face.

"I will return to her" I say to no one in particular, and with that promise I reload my gun and prepare to charge with my men.


	3. What the hell?

_Chapter 2:_

_JPOV_

_I sat at the lunch table with my 'family' in this town they call … well I really don't know. I believe it was named after some form of cutlery. _

_We've had to move so many times in the past year it's become hard to keep track. I blame that on Edward. Poor boy needs to get laid, if he goes after one more hooker, I may rip him into seven pieces and bury each one on a different continent. Maybe then we'd get to live in one place for more then a freaking month. _

_This thought brought a smirk to my face, and a frown to Alice's. I could feel her worry, so I just shook my head at her. Infuriating little pixie, always thinking she knew what was best for everyone. Including us being together._

_HAH. I'd rather drain a porcupine. Nasty little buggers. _

_She knew where we stood, and she didn't like it one bit. It's always vision this, and vision that with Alice. Blah, blah, we'll be happy together, blah, blah. Yea. Right._

_She knew that I had loved, and even a hundred plus years later couldn't change the feelings that I held for my darling Marie. _

_I jumped up as I heard the bell ring, eager to be away from this self-deluded 'family'. That and the fact I was eager to get to US History, we were studying the Civil War this week, and I could not wait to put the pompous teacher in his place._

_Silly little humans, couldn't tell a war tale correctly to save their lives. I make my way to the back of the class, away from everyone else, just the way I like it, just as the bell rings. _

_I hear a girl trip outside the class, and have to bury my gentleman instincts to go help her. I could hear it now, Whitlock and his damn bat ears saved the freaking day. Now that made me snicker._

_I was surprised to see the door open, and the clumsy girl stumble in. I sighed when I realized she would have to be seated be seated next to me._

"_Thank you for joining us finally Miss Isabella Swan. I pray next time you do not lose yourself in the scenery," Mr. Jackass said._

_The girl, Bella she said she preferred, just blushed, threw her paper at him, and marched her way to the back of the class, next to me. I chuckled, she looked like a disgruntled kitten._

_I saw her raise her head, glaring at me, and my non-beating heart stuttered, and I felt as if I couldn't breathe._

_I knew she_ was there, but _she_ couldn't be, not after all this time. Maybe _she_ is an immortal like me. 

I sniffed the air. No _she_ can't be. I smell the blood coursing through her veins. 

But she looks so much like _her_, she has the same hair, same soft skin with that awing blush to go with it. 

No, shake yourself out of it damn it, that was a long time ago, and its never happening again. Let the past be the past. 

Bella's lips go into a flat line as she realizes that I haven't stopped staring at her and she pushes past me to her new seat.

"Now that everyone has decided to find their selves a seat, I can begin with the lesson. This semester we will be focusing on the high, and low points of the Civil War …"

I tuned Mr. Jerkwad out as he started the lesson. I could teach the damn thing, hell I did 50 years ago at Columbia.

Part of me wishes I could fall asleep like the Hoe Patrol in the second row was doing. Jessica Stanley, ick. If she tries to slob on my knob one more time I may have to go to drastic measures and tell her I bat for the other team.

I let my mind wander to the curious creature beside me. She looked just like my Marie. She had the same hair, blush, and eyes as my would have been wife.

I tune in as I hear Mr. Wanker mention the Texas Calvary. I laugh to myself as I realize I will yet again have to put him in his place. 

We always got into these arguments, he couldn't believe that I knew what I did, or that I had the gall to correct him. I personally think the only reason he got his panties in a wad is because I was always correct.

But it's not like I could tell him that I lived it. I laughed at his question,

"Can anyone here tell me the uniform of the Texas Calvary?"

I sighed and didn't even bother to raise my hand when I answered,

"Which Calvary, we both know each unit added their own twist to the standard grey uniform."

He didn't hesitate in his answer, as if he was expecting it. "The third Mr. Whitlock"

Easy, I thought to myself. He had unknowingly chosen my unit. However, before I could answer a bold voice from my left interjected,

"Unlike their bothers in the war, the third Calvary wore light blue pants, and had yellow ascots, along with yellow stitching."

I stared at Bella as if she had grown another head. How in the hell had she known that?


	4. Bella's Dreams

Chapter 3:

JPOV

"How the hell do you know that?" Mr. Know-it-all and I asked at the same time.

She looked just as shocked as we did.

"I have no freaking idea. I must have read it in a book somewhere or something…" She let the sentence trail off, but I sensed the deceit in her emotions. She wasn't telling the whole truth.

Once Mr. Pansy-ass realized that his class was getting out of hand, he cleared his throat and continued on with his morbid tale of the south failing. Sometimes I wish I could show him what all I learned during my training years.

Let him say we failed then. Once the bell rung I was determined to corner Bella outside of class to get the whole truth from her. However, she didn't cooperate with this idea.

I didn't see her until school let out, for once it wasn't raining, but the sky was still overcast, lucky for all the folk prone to sparkling.

However, unlucky for Bella, her car wouldn't start. I whispered to Rose and asked if she could come back later and fix it. I didn't wait for a response as my Bella had already started walking towards what I assume is her house.

I ran as fast as I could, without attracting attention, to catch up with her. She stiffened when I came near her, as if she could sense me. As I reached out to touch her, this sense of calm overwhelmed me.

I pulled my hand back, and just walked beside her. Finally she sighed and turned to me.

"What do you want Whitlock?"

I held out my hand for her to shake, "Jasper please ma'm"

She didn't take the offered hand. Instead she asked, "What do you want, Jasper?"

I decided that she was the type of girl that appreciated honesty, so I gave it to her.

"I want to know how you know the uniform of the third Texas Calvary."

She got a blank look on her face and started walking again.

"I told you in class-"

"I know what you said in class damnit, and I could feel that you weren't telling the whole truth. That is all I ask of you… the truth." As I finished my rant I looked up at her, expecting to see her terrified face.

She just looked resigned. She took one of those deep breaths people take before they go off on a rant, and began.

"I have dreams," She looked at me out of the corner of her eye. "They started when I was little. The doctors said that I just had a very active imagination, that I had created a different reality in my head. Once I had grown up and the dreams continued, they tried to put me on medication.

"It got to the point where I lied and said the dreams had stopped, just so that doctors would stop prodding at me all the time."

I looked at her and told her to continue with my eyes. She sighed again.

"My dreams are set during the Civil War. They always seemed so real, I could feel the wheat under my fingers, taste the fresh apples I would pick, hear my mother calling for me to bathe. Every time I wake up from on of these dreams, it's as if I haven't slept at all.

"The reason I knew the third calvary's uniform was because in my dreams, that was the unit my suitor was in. I never could see his face, I don't know why, but I never have. I can hear the words he speaks, but I don't really get a voice. He is a complete mystery to me.

'We've had to move many times because of the fights I get into with teachers over Civil War facts." I laugh at this, as it is the same with me.

"I don't know why but these dreams are so real to me. Even weirder, my middle name, is the same as my dream girl's,"

She stops there, and I look at her. Begging her with my gaze to continue. When she doesn't I ask, "What is her name Bella?"

"Marie"

And I did the only thing I could. I ran as fast as I could, not caring that it could potentially expose me.


End file.
